Might be time for Locks of Love Rapunzel

How did this:

Become this:

you ask? That is a good question. While helping Livi clean up her room yesterday, mainly because I couldn't find her bathing suit (which it turns out, I had put in a bag to take to the sprinkler park thing, oops) and I came across about 15 dolls which looked like they were crack addicts. They were half naked, and their hair was...well you saw the top picture. At least she was dressed though.

So I started to do some research on what I could do to fix their hair. I found one woman's blog about brushing the same doll's hair. (Cookie and Claire) I didn't have a wig brush, so I made due with a comb and a regular brush.

I made the detangler spray with fabric softener and water. I used the lavender vanilla scented on in hopes that it would relax me while I brushed all this stupid hair. When I began this process, I'm not going to lie, I asked myself what the hell I was thinking when I bought this doll in the process?! You would think that by this day in age, they would have created a way to keep doll hair from becoming so tangled. (I guess that was the point of this particular doll though....)

The whole process took about 30 minutes. I think Rapunzel lost about as much hair as she kept. I did break it up into sections to make the task a little easier. Half-way though, I about quit. I didn't think it would be as big of a pain the ass as it was. I guess I figured that homemade detangler would work magic and just untangle the whole thing on it's own. But I soldiered on and finished it up. Needless to say, that is the only doll who got her hair brushed.

On an added note: I started this post about a month ago....I still have yet to brush another doll's hair.

Crafty day today

Today, while the kiddos were playing in the sprinkler (be jealous my New England readers!), I decided I needed to be crafty. I just had to make something. I've been like that a lot lately, and I think it might have a lot to do with my new obsession with pinterest. But that's a different blog post. I was thinking about things, and I've decided that I'm going to start posting the things that I have actually made from my pinterest endeavors. There are a few things that I have made already, for example a braided rag rug (which I still have to finish sewing together), peanut butter chip bananas (pretty tasty), some fabric flowers and some headbands. You're not missing too much yet. Is there something you saw on pinterest that you want to make, but aren't sure how it's going to turn out? Not really sure how to do it? Lemme know, we can figure it out together.

My goal now is to make everything that I pin....eventually. If I'm not actually going to make it, then why pin it right? It's pretty easy to get carried away with it all. And if I'm going to make it, might as well share the process with you. Whether the process works, or not. At least I can save you from making some of the mistakes I've made...for example, the time I tried to make my own paper mache glue....I pretty sure the glue was not suppose to be as think and nasty as it turned out. Moving on.

While thinking about what I could make with what I had, I found an old picture frame. I've been wanting to make a white board out of a picture frame, but didn't really want to go to walmart and buy a new frame and I hadn't had time to go to the thrift store to check out what they had so I considered this to be a lucky find!

The first thing you have to do is take the glass out of the frame. After taking out the back and the glass, I realized that I might have damaged the frame structure a little. But nothing a little wood glue can't fix. No biggie. I pulled out my new favorite thing, paint samples I got at Lowes for less then $3.00 a piece. Sometimes you can get lucky and get a great color on the "oops" paint, but if you're looking for a particular color, they can mix up a sample for you. I've found that this is the perfect size for crafting projects.

I went with the new summer colors from Valspar, Filoli Antique Lace and Twilight Meadow. Something fresh and bright. After you take the glass and the frame apart, you paint them. The frame is simple enough to paint. Just make sure to do a few thin coats so it goes on evenly. The pane of glass on the other hand....I think because we were outside and it was so hot that it caused the paint to dry unevenly. Or it could be that I tried to be cheap and use a really cheap paint brush. In hindsight, I wish I had a foam roller. I bet that would have done it better. You live, you learn.

So it's now painted. Make sure everything is even and coated. Pick your pane of glass and check the back side. Can you see anything through it? If you can, and you have OCD like me, make sure you touch it up. I went ahead and brought the glass inside to dry after touching it up, in hopes that the cool air would help it dry better. It definitely helped. Once everything is dried, you are going to very carefully put your glass back into the frame. Make sure that the painted side is on the inside. Be careful when putting the cardboard and back on the frame that you don't chip your paint job, because it will very easily scrape off the glass. You want the smooth side of the glass to be showing because that's what you are going to be writing on.

And now you're finished. Unless you 're like me and broke the frame during the process and now have to glue it back together. Then you're not finished. But it was close enough to take a picture and for you to get the idea. You're very own white board. You can use this for everyday use in your house, or as a neat alternative to the chalkboard photo booth that people are using in weddings. No one wants chalk dust on their fancy clothes!! It's a super simple project that can be done in less than an afternoon and to whatever color combo you fancy. Happy crafting everyone!

Shouldn't everyday be Mother's Day??

I realize that I have neglected my blogging duties as of late. I apologize. I could give you a bunch of excuses about how I've been super busy moving down the east coast, or how I am taking classes online, but I think what it really boils down to is that I have developed a serious Pinterest addiction. They say admitting it is the first step.

Mother's Day is fast approaching, and I feel the need to write my thoughts about it. I thought of even making a top 5 list of things that I would love for Mother's Day. I really thought about all the things that the commercials say that mothers want. But let's be real, who really really wants a new refrigerator for mother's day? I mean, I'm not going to lie, I really want a new washer and dryer. Mainly because we don't have one now and I am so sick of going to the laundromat! (As convenient as it is to do 6 loads at once.) So, without further ado, here is my top 5 list:

1. Anything homemade. I love when the kiddos draw me pictures or make me a "spaceship" out of legos or whatever. I don't care if it cost you any money to make, the thought behind it is what is important. I have a whole box of drawing and scribbles and all that good stuff that I can bear to throw away!!

2. If I'm going to dream, I'm going to dream big. I would love to have enough craft supplies to be able to make everything on my Pinterest boards. Man I have an addiction. I know it's a problem.

3. I know I said appliances are out. But I really hate the laundromat! Washer and dryer!

4. A day at the spa. What mom doesn't want to be pampered? A good massage can do wonders! Yeah buddy!

5. A nap. Enough said.

All joking aside, I don't need anything really for Mother's day. I get little things all the time just because. Like the Hunger Games books, which I read in a single day, each. Little moments with the kids, when Cole reads to me or Livi tells me what number is what. Those are the things that are important to me. Those are the times that I truly love being a mommy. Then they do something crazy that just makes me forget all that crap and want to 'smack the taste out their mouth'.

Bedtime Routine

Like many people, I try to have a bedtime routine with the kids. With my old job though, it was difficult because I was pretty much always at work during bedtime. That, of course, just added to that lovely mommy guilt that I tend to feel, but I digress. Back to the routine....

First of all, we start with dinner. This evening's delicious dish was hot dogs and mac and cheese for the kids and a nice salad with chicken for the grown-ups. While that salad was good, it was no mac and cheese, which is what my stomach really wants, but my ass does not. If the kids eat all of their dinner, they can have dessert, which tonight was leftover dessert pizza from Papa John's. We had vanilla yogurt with granola and white chocolate chips. I know you're all jealous of our incredible healthy dinner and dessert.

After dinner, it's shower time. This evening was especially hilarious. While the kids were taking their showers, we took turns dumping freezing cold water over the shower curtain on them.....Cole thought it was much funnier then Olivia, who isn't a big fan of water in her face. She doesn't even like the water park because of that, she's not very much fun. Then it was time to get dressed. Both of those hooligans love being naked. Cole will run around the house, and probably outside if you let him, naked. He thinks it's just the funniest thing ever. Olivia on the other hand, likes to point out to everyone that she's naked, but then proceeds to tell them not to look at her privates. I do appreciate her concern to have people respect her modesty, I just wish that she was actually modest.

Once they are in their jammies, it's time to get their hiney's in bed. Usually, there will be a story, complete with appropriate voices and sound effects. Tonight, we were running a bit late, and wanted them to just get into bed, so I just sang a little song to each of them. Olivia wanted "Over the Rainbow", which I forgot half the words to. Thankfully, she doesn't know the whole song yet, and just sings along to the over the rainbow parts. Cole wanted a song about God, fitting because we did attend church today. Sadly, the only song I could think of on the spot about God was "O' Come all Ye Faithful". That is one of my favorite Christmas carols. So yeah....I guess I should brush up on my hymns.

Now, it's quiet in the house and I'm taking a few moments to write this little blog about our night. This is the point in the bedtime routine that is the adult time. Most nights, I could really use a drink when they are in bed. Today was actually a peaceful day. I can only pray the same for tomorrow, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Wrongful birth lawsuit?? I want to sue you for being Wrongful parnets!

I have been wanting to write a blog about this story since I first heard about it. But to be honest, I was entirely too angry. The whole story just makes me sick to my stomach. It makes me see red. And I know that some of you may not have heard about this story, but before I explain I have to get out how angry I am so that I may calmly (well as calmly as possible) explain the situation. It just makes me so mad I could spit. Okay. I think I'm ready.

There is a couple in the great state of Oregon who sued the hospital for the wrongful birth of their child. Their reasoning behind this lawsuit? Their child was born with Down Syndrome. They say that the only reason they continued with their pregnancy was because they were told that their child did not have Down Syndrome. (I'm sorry, I'm getting upset again. Please forgive the angry rant that may follow the continuing of this story.) They were not award the opportunity to terminate their pregnancy, which they would have done if they had known. The test that they had performed was on the wrong tissue, so it incorrectly told them that their child did not have Down Syndrome. In another article, it is said that the reason that the test came back negative was because of the type of Down Syndrome that the child had. The couple did not do an amniocentesis. Originally, the lawsuit was for $7 million. They were award $2.9 million for the care of their daughter over her lifetime.

Okay, now that I've got the case covered, I can elaborate on how this infuriates me. Anyone who knows anything about Down Syndrome, or knows someone with Down Syndrome knows that they are the most amazing people....Ever. They have the kindest hearts, the greatest sense of humor and just all-around amazing individuals. My little sister has Down Syndrome. I am aware that it's not always an easy road. Take the normal challenges of parenting, and multiply them by, I don't even know how many. It takes an amazing person to raise a child with Down Syndrome, and my sister is blessed to have two amazing parents in her life. This little girl, my heart breaks for her. She has two parents that publicly, nationally, admitted that they would have aborted her. I just want to go to Portland and scoop her up and be like, look you greedy bitches, you do not deserve this amazing child. You are so ungrateful for the gift that God has given you.

(I had to take a temporary break from this post to ground myself.)

While I can understand from the parents point of view the financial strain that this child brings, I am angered that they would feel that it's the hospital's financial responsibility. I understand that the hospital did not do the testing correctly. But every medical test is not 100% accurate. It's just not possible. How can you say that you love your child dearly, and then in the same breath, sue for not having the option to terminate that child?? How could that thought even come into your head? How you can even sit there, as a parent of 3 and say that you're upset that you didn't get the chance to terminate this pregnancy and you deserve to be given $3 million to take care this "burden"? You didn't get that chance....now is the time to get over it. Move on and figure out the best way to raise your family.

There is always a risk when having children that they may not turn out just the way you want. There is no way to guarantee that your child will be 100% healthy. There are so many things that can go wrong, and not be just "perfect". But does that make your child any less perfect to you? If your answer is anything other then no, then I don't know what to tell you. Creating life is not an easy process. Raising a child is even more difficult. Now this child is going to go through life being the little girl that her parents didn't want. Everyone knows her name. Everyone knows who her parents are. Everyone knows her story. Did her family ever think about the effect this would have on their child that they love so dearly? Just one more reason that I believe that this couple acted very selfishly. I'm sure there are people who feel differently, and perhaps can even understand where this couple is coming from. Not sure if I'll ever be one of them.

You’re going to be a star!

As some of you know and have seen, my son is a singing sensation. I’m not going to brag or anything, but he’s pretty much amazing. He wrote a song, and let’s just say that he’s better at rapping then Lil’ Wayne. He writes his own lyrics. I’d like to see Lil’ Wheezy do that. Ha! But anyway, the story is that we were driving in the car to go to the craft store so that I could get some fabric, and he could get a cool little craft thing to do. (He picked this thing where you dig the stones out of rock, which is actually just a bath fizz thing and you can make a ring out of the gems you find.) On the way to the store, we were listening to the Kidz Bop Pandora radio station. At least it was current music, and I didn’t have to worry about them dropping the “B” word, the “F” bomb or other colorful language like that. On the down-size, I feel like I’m listening to a Barney soundtrack that occasionally plays the Chipmunks.

Anyway, Cole decided that he wanted to be on the radio too, because those other kids were doing it. I told him that he could make up songs if he wanted, and maybe one day he could be on the radio too. Well, he then proceeded to sing the most amazing song…..ever. It was about 15 minutes long. It included some very random things, that didn’t exactly make radio gold, but was still basically AMAZING. After a while he got into a groove of things and got his flow down. He started to find his rhythm. Then, “Shake it Girl” was born.

Some of you have seen this amazing song. Some of you sing it in your head, because it gets stuck in your head. I know it gets stuck in mine. It’s a catchy little ditty. I did what any parent would have done; I pointed my camera in the back and hoped for the best. What I captured, was just purely amazing. I can’t say that enough .It was priceless. It was gold! It’s just something I have to post for your viewing pleasure. I’m in school right now and I ‘m not sure if this is going to post right, but I am going to try anyway. I hope you can all see it. Enjoy!

Cole Says Shake It Girl

Happy Valentine's Day. If you really care.

Yeah yeah yeah, Happy Valentine's Day and all that jazz. Meh. I'm not that big into Valentines Day personally. I mean, I did buy Cole and Livi and Brock a little something for Valentine's Day. A little chocolate that I'll probably have sneak a little of. Some mushy cards. And then the card that said, "If we were in prison, I'd totally have your back. I'd shiv anyone who disrespected you." I couldn't pass a romantic gem like that up. When you see a card like that, you just have to get it. For example, I have a birthday card that some lucky person is going to get, I just haven't decided who. It says, "Happy Birthday, I'll see you in Hell." Now you see why I can't just give it to anyone. It has to be the right person.

Back to Valentine's Day. Cole didn't want to go to school today because he didn't think that he had Valentines for his class. I am a procrastinator. I waited until last night to buy Valentines. And of course, Target was cleaned out. Cole has 32 kids in his class....that's just crazy. 32 kindergartners. How does his teacher maintain her sanity??? Cause I sure would loose it. I found one box that had exactly 32 valentines in it. Jackpot! (It was pixie sticks too. Oops, they are going to be a group of jacked up on pure sugar 32 kindergartners.)

Then I go home to look at the list of names of students. I really couldn't help myself. I laughed. Really hard. Then I called my mom. And we both laughed really hard. What are people thinking when they name their children??? One little boy's name was Sha'dream. No joke. Then there Jakiy. (Not even sure how to begin to pronounce that. I'm assuming it's JK. Like, 'I had a girl! JK it's a boy.) The list goes on and on. I just feel bad for those kids. Those are some crazy crazy names, and their parents set them up for a life of teasing and mispronunciation. Poor kids. I guess sha'dreamt about it and that's the name she came up with. JK.

I think I'm a communist.....

We took a little road trip today to Charlottesville today (this is my first attempt at mobile blogging). On the way up here, we stopped for drinks and snacks. Brock came back to the car with a cheese danish and twinkies. The danish was for me and the twinkies for Livi.

After Brock gave Livi the first Twinkie, he asked her if she liked it. Of course she did. She looked like a chipmunk with all that yumminess in her cheeks. I proceeded to tell Brock that anyone who didnt like Twinkies was un-american. Damn Commies. Olivia got half way through the second one when she got full. So, I had to take one for the team and finish it.

Thats when I realized that I had to be a communist.

Crayons are a privilege, not a right

Saturday, we had a birthday party for my son. He just turned 6. (On a side note, I feel really old.) But yes, his birthday was on a Tuesday this year, so we had the party Saturday. He was super excited to have cake, and his new scooter and hang out with his homies. And of course, Livi is really jealous. She doesn't understand the concept of birthdays, and presents and why she doesn't get any presents. It's also really hard for her to understand time right now, and how long it is until her birthday. Cole, who barely earned back his birthday party due to a choking his sister out for a cape incident, was very well behaved. Olivia.....not so much.

She spent most of her day in and out of time out. In the corner, out of the corner. Taking naps, being awake. No tv, then watching cartoons. It was a back and forth battle all day long. Finally, at the end of the night, she had to sit at her desk, and not play. Well, little did we know, that there were crayons at her desk. Thinking that she's sitting at her desk quietly, we let her get up and play a little before bed. So I go upstairs to tuck her in for the night, and low and behold what we see at her desk, a beautiful art picture. On her desk. Great.

Needless to say, Olivia lost her crayon privileges. I should also mention that she tried to draw on the curtains as well, because they were in front of the desk. If she could have reached the walls, I'm sure that would have been tagged too.

Note to self: Keep Olivia away from spray cans when she is a teenager.

Homework. Who is it REALLY torturing? I mean teaching?

It's Monday morning. This means the beginning of a new week. Which means that Cole is going to have a whole new weeks worth of homework. This is kindergarten. So that means that he can't read the assignment on his own, which means that he'll need help. I don't want you to get me wrong, I completely believe that parents should be involved in their children's education, and that it's not completely the responsibility of the teacher to help them learn. I do, however, believe that it is not easy. Helping Cole with his homework is exhausting. It's stressful. It makes me want to scream and yell at him and get really angry.

Patience is a necessity of teaching. This is why I changed my major. I do not have that kind of patience. Especially with my own kids. I think it's because I know how smart he is. I know, from speaking with his teachers, that he knows this material. He just gets lazy when it comes time for homework. He starts to goof off and play with the pencil. He guesses the answers without even looking at the question. I don't want to be doing this either buddy, but help me out here! When is he going to understand that the time he spends not doing his homework is time he could be playing with his legos, or watching a movie or whatever it is he wanted to be doing instead of homework??

I wish I knew a way to get him to focus more. I wish I knew how to get him to enjoy his homework. Okay, I almost said that with a straight face! No one enjoys homework. Well, I used to. I remember being in first grade and asking my brother's teacher for homework because my teacher didn't really give us any. Obviously, he didn't inherit that from me, or at least not yet. I think he's just bored. This stuff is boring. I mean, how many times can you count to 100 before you get tired of doing it? I'm not saying it's not important, but really? I'm running out of ideas to make counting fun. And obviously, what I had come up with before wasn't all that fun because it would take us 2 hours to do it!!
 
Homework sucks, no matter what grade you're in. Honestly, I can't wait for him to learn to read so I can tell him to do his homework, and then help him when he's stuck. I know he hates me hovering over him while he does it now. I'm not such a fan of it myself. But at least I understand the assignments now, one day, I will not have a freakin clue what they are talking about. At least then, he'll be able to read so he can google it.

I am a paranoid parent. At least I own it.

As many of you know, I am a paranoid parent. As many of you also know, we are getting ready to move to Alabama! I'm super excited about and totally fell in love with the area when I went to visit it. The people are amazing. The state is beautiful. There is so much to do there and it's a very family friendly state. I'm excited to go to the lakes, to see the science museum that Brock keeps talking about, to get Cole into football so he can go to college and play for the Tide. Now, I try to be a realist. What I'm not excited about.....the heat, the jokes I've already started to get from my family about moving to Alabama (thanks Dave) and the tornadoes.
My friends in Virginia, and the friends and family who heard about my antics, will remember when all of those tornadoes came through Virginia last year. I was freaking out. Anyone who mentioned the "T" word about got bitch slapped for scaring the crap out of me. I was constantly watching the sky. I asked everyone I talked to if they thought that was a wall cloud. At work, I had a quickest route to the walk-in mapped out in my head at all times. I didn't have the be the fastest there, but as long as my fat ass could squeeze in there, I'd be ok. I would have nightmares about it ripping the roof off of my home. I wanted the kids to sleep downstairs, and even went so far as to suggest that we all sleep in the bathroom that night.
I began to stockpile things in the bathroom. Pillows, blankets, a flashlight. Pretty basic things that sound completely normal right? Then I started to get a little carried away. I put a bra in there, because what if the tornado hit in the middle of the night and swept all my bras away? What am I suppose to do, walk around with my boobs flopping around until I find my bras in a tree somewhere? No thank you. I wanted to put some food in there, but Brock wouldn't let me. Of course not, because while I would be in the bathroom with the kids, his plan was to hide in the pantry. Logically, this makes sense, because if one of us was buried, the other one could get us out. I, however, was not being logical. I was being paranoid. Like I said, at least I own it.
Everyone is aware of the horrific tornadoes that have hit Alabama and the damage that they have done. Just early this morning, another tornado had gone through Alabama and did some damage to homes of Brock's friends. This just increases my anxiety about it. Just last night Brock and I were discussing the up-coming move and what we would need to have in the home. I understand that there are radios that are just for weather advisories and warnings. I'm scared I won't hear the sirens, so I told Brock that we will be getting one of these radios. Actually, I told him that we needed at least two. He laughed at me. I wasn't kidding. In fact, I would feel so much better if everyone just carried one around with them everywhere they went, a'la the 80's boombox. That might help with my anxiety. But probably not.
We did however, come up with a great idea for an app. It's basically a tornado siren for your phone. It would go off loudly, regardless if the phone were on silent and alert you immediately that there is a tornado in the area or if there is a warning. I would PAY for that, and I don't pay for any apps. I wouldn't even get the free version that would only tell you if there was an actual touchdown. I want to know if there is a freaking cloud in the sky. If the wind is over 3 mph. If there is a cow flying in the sky. Hey, I saw Twister, I know how this goes. Maybe one day, I'll adjust to the life of having tornadoes. Maybe it will just stop bothering me. Maybe I'll turn into a big black opera singer. Yeah, I don't see any of those things happening.

Coffee...a necessity of Parenting. In my opinion anyway.

After taking my little monster to school today, I came home to enjoy the quiet that is still my house at 8 in the morning. Livi is watching cartoons and probably fell back asleep and my boyfriend is still snoozing. I use this time to either catch up on my girly shows that he won't watch with me, doing some blogging, surfing online or like today, find a new crafty thing to work on. I love to make stuff. I'm all about immediate gratification. I want to see what I am doing, and being crafty lets me do that. I can see my progress and I love when I'm out somewhere with something I have made and people ask me where I got it.
One of the wonderful gifts we got for Christmas this year was a Keurig machine. This is just the greatest invention since, well, I'm not really sure because right now it's the best thing ever to me. I can make just one cup of coffee and not have to worry about making a whole pot and not being sure if it will still be hot when I decide I want another cup. I don't know if Brock will want a cup. But I know I do! This cup of coffee (and perhaps another one) will get me through today. I have an exciting day of laundry, knitting and grocery shopping planned. With all of that thrilling activity, I bet your wondering why I would even need coffee to get through it. I know, I wonder that myself. I'm going to tell you a little bit why....
I had enrolled my daughter in a little dance/gym class once a week. This cost about $62 a month. That seems a bit steep for something only she can enjoy. So we started to look into different classes, and perhaps a gym membership for all of us that has lots of activities for the kids and we can get in on the action too. Well, we found a great gym and if we were going to be in the area longer, I would totally join. For under $100, all four of us can use the gym. I'm talking classes, pool, machines, treadmills with individual tvs on them. This gym is nice! But seeing as it's a little pricey for just 4 months, and you have to pay $100 to break the contract when you move, it's just not practical. But we did get a free week to try it out. Well, last night, I got a great idea to try out the Body Combat class. It combines lots of different fighting techniques, and it is intense. Probably one of the best workouts I've had in quite some time. But today.........today I'm sore. I'm tired. And I'm hoping they have a yoga class I can go to today to stretch it all out! But it's all good. I have my coffee. I have a new pattern to knit.  I have a quiet house for maybe 20 more minutes. Today is going to be a good day. I can just tell. Man, the power of a Keurig.

Bullying, is it a necessary evil?

Everywhere you turn now-a-days, there is a news story about a young child committing suicide or going on a mass rampage due to being bullied. Just this past weekend, there was an incident in my little ole hometown of Merrimack, NH of an 11 year old girl shooting herself, allegedly due to being bullied. (Read the article here, if you care to Police probe shooting of 11-year-old girl) This really made it hit home for me. Not because I knew the family, which even though it's a small town, I did not, but because it was my hometown. My little town that people don't have to lock their doors and when I was in school bullying did not seem this big of a thing. So of course, I feel the need to talk about it in my true fashion, saying exactly how I feel and what some of us are thinking, but are too afraid to offend someone to say.
It really got me thinking about why it is now that children and teenagers can't seem to cope with bullying anymore. I realize now that teenagers are much more vicious with their teasing. There is facebook to hide behind and bully like a true coward. Teens take social media so seriously that what better way to make someone's life a living hell then to torment them via facebook? The ultimate slap in the face. Twitter, Four Square and whatever other media outlet there is to put people's business, real or made up, on blast makes for the best kind of anonymous torture. Movies like Mean Girls, and shows like Degrassi or Secret Circle or whatever other CW drama is out there is showing teenage girls that being the mean girl is hot, sexy, powerful. This is what we are allowing our children to grow up watching and emulating. So who's fault is it again that our children act the way that they do?
But what is the beginning cause of all of this? What is it that makes our children not know how to handle this kind of rejection from their peers? What makes our children feel that it's okay to treat people like that? My opinion? US. We as parents and as a society do. So much has changed over the last 10-15 years that it kinda blows my mind. It starts when kids are toddlers, around my kids age.We can't spank our kids anymore, that's just mean. So no discipline or respect for authority there. There are no try-outs anymore, everyone makes the team. So no rejection there. Everyone gets a trophy, so no one feels like a loser. What's the motivation to win again? Why try hard if you're going to get a reward anyway? They never had to deal with loss or rejection because we wanted to shelter them from that kind of hurt. Honorable, surely. But that kind of feeling is necessary. They need to lose, they need to not make the team. Maybe you agree, maybe you don't. But think about it. Because they have never had to deal with those emotions before, when they experience them at an older age, they have no idea what to do with them. It's overwhelming. They can't process it. Because we denied them that experience growing up. It's a crucial part of their development process. I'm not a doctor, or a psychologist, I'm just making my observation.
As far as the bullies go, we allow that behavior to continue as well. Our teenagers are running around completely unchecked. They have free reign of the internet, of cell phones, with no supervision. The pictures that these girls post of themselves in very adult like poses and clothing, make me sick. They are not grown, and I don't care what they think about themselves. Everyone says "my kid would never be allowed to do that" but the truth about it is that they are. We have lost the power at some point in the transition to teenager. Parents are just letting their kids run wild, not keeping track of what they are doing, what they are posting online, where they are going. We are too busy working, or doing our own thing. It's still our job to raise these teenagers. This is an important age that they really still need guidance. You can't just throw them to the wolves and say "I raised them right, they know better. I'm sure they will make the right choices." While that is true with somethings, they still need to know what is acceptable behavior and what's not. They still need consequences for their actions. These bullies are just getting away with it over and over again, leaving these victims of bullying to have to deal with the increased power they feel from getting away with their actions.
Maybe if we spanked our children more, grounded them more, kept closer tabs on them it would help with this issue. Maybe we just need to take the power back and parent our children again. Call me old-fashion, but I obviously agree with spanking. My children are respectful, say yes ma'am, no sir, please and thank you. And when they aren't, better believe that they are reminded to be so. It is my job to make them into well rounded adults that can function in the world. It's not my job to be their friend. It's not my job to hold their hand and make them think the world is sunshine and roses because it's not. They aren't going to get that job, they aren't going to make the college team, they aren't going to stay with that person forever and those feelings are natural and are going to happen. So we have a choice as parents. Do we prepare them for those rejections, losses, hurts in a gradual way that allows them to figure out coping techniques or do we shelter them from it and let them all hit them at once and they can't handle it? I vote for the first option. What do you think??