Bullying, is it a necessary evil?

Everywhere you turn now-a-days, there is a news story about a young child committing suicide or going on a mass rampage due to being bullied. Just this past weekend, there was an incident in my little ole hometown of Merrimack, NH of an 11 year old girl shooting herself, allegedly due to being bullied. (Read the article here, if you care to Police probe shooting of 11-year-old girl) This really made it hit home for me. Not because I knew the family, which even though it's a small town, I did not, but because it was my hometown. My little town that people don't have to lock their doors and when I was in school bullying did not seem this big of a thing. So of course, I feel the need to talk about it in my true fashion, saying exactly how I feel and what some of us are thinking, but are too afraid to offend someone to say.
It really got me thinking about why it is now that children and teenagers can't seem to cope with bullying anymore. I realize now that teenagers are much more vicious with their teasing. There is facebook to hide behind and bully like a true coward. Teens take social media so seriously that what better way to make someone's life a living hell then to torment them via facebook? The ultimate slap in the face. Twitter, Four Square and whatever other media outlet there is to put people's business, real or made up, on blast makes for the best kind of anonymous torture. Movies like Mean Girls, and shows like Degrassi or Secret Circle or whatever other CW drama is out there is showing teenage girls that being the mean girl is hot, sexy, powerful. This is what we are allowing our children to grow up watching and emulating. So who's fault is it again that our children act the way that they do?
But what is the beginning cause of all of this? What is it that makes our children not know how to handle this kind of rejection from their peers? What makes our children feel that it's okay to treat people like that? My opinion? US. We as parents and as a society do. So much has changed over the last 10-15 years that it kinda blows my mind. It starts when kids are toddlers, around my kids age.We can't spank our kids anymore, that's just mean. So no discipline or respect for authority there. There are no try-outs anymore, everyone makes the team. So no rejection there. Everyone gets a trophy, so no one feels like a loser. What's the motivation to win again? Why try hard if you're going to get a reward anyway? They never had to deal with loss or rejection because we wanted to shelter them from that kind of hurt. Honorable, surely. But that kind of feeling is necessary. They need to lose, they need to not make the team. Maybe you agree, maybe you don't. But think about it. Because they have never had to deal with those emotions before, when they experience them at an older age, they have no idea what to do with them. It's overwhelming. They can't process it. Because we denied them that experience growing up. It's a crucial part of their development process. I'm not a doctor, or a psychologist, I'm just making my observation.
As far as the bullies go, we allow that behavior to continue as well. Our teenagers are running around completely unchecked. They have free reign of the internet, of cell phones, with no supervision. The pictures that these girls post of themselves in very adult like poses and clothing, make me sick. They are not grown, and I don't care what they think about themselves. Everyone says "my kid would never be allowed to do that" but the truth about it is that they are. We have lost the power at some point in the transition to teenager. Parents are just letting their kids run wild, not keeping track of what they are doing, what they are posting online, where they are going. We are too busy working, or doing our own thing. It's still our job to raise these teenagers. This is an important age that they really still need guidance. You can't just throw them to the wolves and say "I raised them right, they know better. I'm sure they will make the right choices." While that is true with somethings, they still need to know what is acceptable behavior and what's not. They still need consequences for their actions. These bullies are just getting away with it over and over again, leaving these victims of bullying to have to deal with the increased power they feel from getting away with their actions.
Maybe if we spanked our children more, grounded them more, kept closer tabs on them it would help with this issue. Maybe we just need to take the power back and parent our children again. Call me old-fashion, but I obviously agree with spanking. My children are respectful, say yes ma'am, no sir, please and thank you. And when they aren't, better believe that they are reminded to be so. It is my job to make them into well rounded adults that can function in the world. It's not my job to be their friend. It's not my job to hold their hand and make them think the world is sunshine and roses because it's not. They aren't going to get that job, they aren't going to make the college team, they aren't going to stay with that person forever and those feelings are natural and are going to happen. So we have a choice as parents. Do we prepare them for those rejections, losses, hurts in a gradual way that allows them to figure out coping techniques or do we shelter them from it and let them all hit them at once and they can't handle it? I vote for the first option. What do you think??