After completing about two months of homework, seeing as finals are next week and today was the final day I could turn in my homework (I like to procrastinate....which is funny, that was the topic of one of the papers), I realized that I hadn't posted a blog post in quite sometime. I know for all of my followers,( they're are 8 of you now! OH yeah!!! Go me! Okay, so I think one of you is on there twice, but I don't care. Let me have my glory.) you've been missing out my daily dose of sarcasm and wit.
I feel like I owe you an explanation for my absence. Well, we already figured out it's not because I was doing homework. My grandfather recently passed away, and I haven't been able to bring myself to write. I just felt like that would be all I would write about. That's not really about parenting or my kids or anything like that. But it was how I was feeling, so I guess that's part of the reason I didn't write. The other part is that I'm kinda lazy. And I work a lot. So when I come home, it was just too much to think about writing and what I would write about. There was homework not to do and laundry to actually do and kids to play with. I got a bit overwhelmed. Which is in part, why I created this blog in the first place. To have an outlet for when I was feeling overwhelmed, and to show other moms that it happens to all of us.
So yeah, I am in school now full time and I'm about to change my major to business. Which means, a lot more work. Well, the program is the same length as the other one I was in, so I don't really know if it's going to be more work. Just different I guess. I didn't think that it would be that big of a deal to work full time and go to school full time and be with the kids. But it is. It's a lot harder of everyone involved. In a way, it makes me want to just post-pone it until everything dies down, but who knows when that would be?? Probably never. Maybe when the kids graduate from high school. Do I really want to wait that long?? Livi isn't even preschool yet!!! So no, that's not really an option. It's just a lot of hard work, and I guess I wasn't really prepared for the road it was going to take me down.
All in all, the kids are doing good. Cole learned how to tie his own shoes. Which is crazy to me. When I do his homework with him, he know how to write so much now. It blows my mind everyday the things that he is learning how to do at school. I knew that someday, he would learn how to do all of these things. But it's so different when they actually do it.
I know that there are a lot of people out there who have lost people close to them. The grieving process is different for everyone. Losing my Grampy isn't something that I've really come to terms with yet. I don't really know how to process it. I had already lost my Mimi, but Grampy was still there. I could still go to that house and see him. You could always count on Christmas Eve being held there, the Fourth of July cookout in the backyard. And even though he hadn't done the blue Christmas lights in a long time, it was still something I'll always remember. Now these things, even though most of them are things that I haven't been able to go to in quite sometime, aren't going to happen anymore. Maybe someone else in the family will pick up the traditions. Maybe they'll just fade away. I don't know what the future holds. I just know that it's very bittersweet. As are so many other things. Sorry for the Debby-downer mood of this. It's just how it feels right now.
2 comments:
I know what you mean, I think your uncle has been starting a new tradition, by having Christmas Eve at his house, no blue lights though.
Yeah, the blue lights were infamous around our little town. It's just hard to think about how different things are going to be this year. It's all the little things that are going to be hard. Those are the things that just catch you off-guard.
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