Kids say the darnest things.....

So today, as many other days, Livi said something to me that just cracked me up, which of course got me to thinking about all the crazy things my kids say to me on a daily basis. I sometimes post them on facebook, but there are some that just don't make it on there. Mainly because I don't want to be "that" guy clogging up everyone's feed with every little thing that my kids say that I deem adorable, because, let's face it, everything they say is adorable. I figure that I'll share some of it with you guys here.
Today, Olivia told me, in all seriousness, (and in fact, with quite the dirty look and attitude) 'Mommy, I farted. I farted mommy.' And when I asked her, 'what do you say?' she replied, 'not excuse me'. She then proceeded to give me a look that said, 'I dare you to ask me to say excuse me.' This is not the first time my three year old lady has talked about farting. While we were returning from New Hampshire via airplane, in the middle of our descent she announces to the entire plan, 'ewwww! Something smells yuck! You farted mommy! That's gross, say excuse me!' To which of course I replied, 'no I didn't! Be quiet!' (Really though, I didn't. But even if I had, I still would have said that I didn't. It's none of their damn business.) Then she laughed and said 'I know. I farted. I farted mommy. hehehe.' I mean really? Did she need to announce it to the plane? I don't think they smelt it.
Not to leave Cole out, because Lord knows he says some crazy things. First off, he always calls the Florida Gators the Crocs. Okay, not knee slapping material, but we're watching college football, so it was on my mind. One time, about a year ago, he spent about two hours telling me about his three girlfriends (he was 4 at the time), one white, one brown and one yellow. This kid is quite the lady's man. He hits on every waitress we've ever had, and his favorite thing to call them is cupcake. He's just so darn cute. Today, we're having a get together to watch the Alabama vs LSU game and one of Brock's friends is a LSU fan. And when Cole had asked him what team he liked, to which he replied 'LSU', Cole said 'oh' with such disappointment, we all busted out laughing. Cole of course, didn't understand what was so funny.
One day, Cole said to me, with as much seriousness as a 5 year old can muster, 'Mom, I have to tell you something that I should have told you a long time ago. I am a power ninja. I have lost my powers and I have to get new ones.' What can you say to that? I had to reply in a way that didn't bust out laughing in his precious little face, so I said the only thing I could. 'Oh. Okay.'
I love my kids. They crack me up, and they keep me on my toes. They make me laugh even when they aren't meaning too. Perhaps even harder when they don't mean too. Like when I'm scolding Livi and she starts crying and telling me I broke her heart. It's so funny, cause she says it with such feeling. Then, it kinda makes me sad, but still, that crap is funny. What kind of crazy shit do your kids say?