Pardon the interruption.

I know I've been neglating the blog lately, and I'd like to apologize. It was the first week of school and before that I just come back to work since the whole hurricane incident. I worked about 47 hours in 5 days. I'm exhausted. Between working overtime, getting up early to make lunches, get Cole ready and drive to school and all the other fun stuff that comes with going back to school. Now it's that time of year that when I was in school, didn't matter. It was just another day. But now, it's our generation's JFK. Where were you on Sept 11th? For me, I was active duty Navy and was stationed in Japan. It was about 230 in the morning and I got a call from the man I was dating at the time. I was 19 years old. When he called me, all he said was 'Let me talk to Brent.' I was tired, young and selfish and I didn't want to get up and get dressed and give him the phone! I kept pushing it until he finally told me why I needed to get up. At this point, the second tower hadn't gotten hit yet, and no one really knew what all was going on. 'Someone blew up the Twin Towers in NYC.' I thought he was just making it all up just to get me out of bed.
Reality came the next morning when we got off the train and started to walk to the base. The base was in lock down. There was a huge line outside of the gate and every person was being searched. Every bag checked. I just remember being confused and not really grasping what all was going on. As we walked to the ship, the base was a swirl of confusion. No one knew what was going on. Rumors flew, and as crazy as they all sounded, most of them were true.
Walking up to the ship was just unreal. Every other ship was getting ready to get underway and leave port, but our lovely ship (which to this day I swear is held together by duck tape and paint) had a huge hole in the side due to renovating and we were unable to get underway. Walking into my workspace, which is like the brain center with 4 huge projector screens to have total awareness, was unreal. There, projected on a screen that was about 4 feet tall, was the scene from New York. All I could do was sit down and watch. What else could I do? There is nothing anyone could do. Then they showed the Pentagon and the field in Pennsylvania. It just crazier and crazier. As the morning went on, more and more people gathered in our space watching the events over and over again. It all just became too much. Everywhere you look, there is someone on the phone, convincing their family that they are fine. Checking on their families and making sure they are fine. Everyone just needed to touch base with their families. I remember the relief on my friend's face when she found out that her brother, who was suppose to start his first day at a new job at the towers, received a call to tell him to come into work late that day.
The next few days were madness. They didn't let anyone leave the ship unless they were authorized to live off base. Since I was just living with my boyfriend, they wouldn't let me go home. I had to have him bring me a toothbrush, and underwear and the whole works. People had to wear helmets and bulletproof vests to stand watch outside. It changed everything. Life has since returned somewhat to normal, but it's always in the back of everyone's mind. Well, everyone who's old enough to remember. We have this whole generation now that knows nothing other a world of terrorists and war. A world that has crazy security checks at the airport. They never knew what the world was like before all of this ever happened.
To this day, I can't watch anything having to do with 9-11. I just can't. If it comes on the tv, I have to change the channel. I can't seem to bring myself to watch the towers fall, see the people running through the smoke and debris. Hear the stories of great heroes and great loss. Tomorrow is 9-11 and all over the tv there are specials and news stories and movies all about that day, and I can't watch it. Does that make me a bad person? I hope not. Maybe someday I'll come to terms with it, and be able to watch this specials without having a damn near anxiety attack. Just thinking about it is making my heart race and breath quicken. I just hope that we never forget the change that that day had on all of us. I know I never will.