Homework. Who is it REALLY torturing? I mean teaching?

It's Monday morning. This means the beginning of a new week. Which means that Cole is going to have a whole new weeks worth of homework. This is kindergarten. So that means that he can't read the assignment on his own, which means that he'll need help. I don't want you to get me wrong, I completely believe that parents should be involved in their children's education, and that it's not completely the responsibility of the teacher to help them learn. I do, however, believe that it is not easy. Helping Cole with his homework is exhausting. It's stressful. It makes me want to scream and yell at him and get really angry.

Patience is a necessity of teaching. This is why I changed my major. I do not have that kind of patience. Especially with my own kids. I think it's because I know how smart he is. I know, from speaking with his teachers, that he knows this material. He just gets lazy when it comes time for homework. He starts to goof off and play with the pencil. He guesses the answers without even looking at the question. I don't want to be doing this either buddy, but help me out here! When is he going to understand that the time he spends not doing his homework is time he could be playing with his legos, or watching a movie or whatever it is he wanted to be doing instead of homework??

I wish I knew a way to get him to focus more. I wish I knew how to get him to enjoy his homework. Okay, I almost said that with a straight face! No one enjoys homework. Well, I used to. I remember being in first grade and asking my brother's teacher for homework because my teacher didn't really give us any. Obviously, he didn't inherit that from me, or at least not yet. I think he's just bored. This stuff is boring. I mean, how many times can you count to 100 before you get tired of doing it? I'm not saying it's not important, but really? I'm running out of ideas to make counting fun. And obviously, what I had come up with before wasn't all that fun because it would take us 2 hours to do it!!
 
Homework sucks, no matter what grade you're in. Honestly, I can't wait for him to learn to read so I can tell him to do his homework, and then help him when he's stuck. I know he hates me hovering over him while he does it now. I'm not such a fan of it myself. But at least I understand the assignments now, one day, I will not have a freakin clue what they are talking about. At least then, he'll be able to read so he can google it.

I am a paranoid parent. At least I own it.

As many of you know, I am a paranoid parent. As many of you also know, we are getting ready to move to Alabama! I'm super excited about and totally fell in love with the area when I went to visit it. The people are amazing. The state is beautiful. There is so much to do there and it's a very family friendly state. I'm excited to go to the lakes, to see the science museum that Brock keeps talking about, to get Cole into football so he can go to college and play for the Tide. Now, I try to be a realist. What I'm not excited about.....the heat, the jokes I've already started to get from my family about moving to Alabama (thanks Dave) and the tornadoes.
My friends in Virginia, and the friends and family who heard about my antics, will remember when all of those tornadoes came through Virginia last year. I was freaking out. Anyone who mentioned the "T" word about got bitch slapped for scaring the crap out of me. I was constantly watching the sky. I asked everyone I talked to if they thought that was a wall cloud. At work, I had a quickest route to the walk-in mapped out in my head at all times. I didn't have the be the fastest there, but as long as my fat ass could squeeze in there, I'd be ok. I would have nightmares about it ripping the roof off of my home. I wanted the kids to sleep downstairs, and even went so far as to suggest that we all sleep in the bathroom that night.
I began to stockpile things in the bathroom. Pillows, blankets, a flashlight. Pretty basic things that sound completely normal right? Then I started to get a little carried away. I put a bra in there, because what if the tornado hit in the middle of the night and swept all my bras away? What am I suppose to do, walk around with my boobs flopping around until I find my bras in a tree somewhere? No thank you. I wanted to put some food in there, but Brock wouldn't let me. Of course not, because while I would be in the bathroom with the kids, his plan was to hide in the pantry. Logically, this makes sense, because if one of us was buried, the other one could get us out. I, however, was not being logical. I was being paranoid. Like I said, at least I own it.
Everyone is aware of the horrific tornadoes that have hit Alabama and the damage that they have done. Just early this morning, another tornado had gone through Alabama and did some damage to homes of Brock's friends. This just increases my anxiety about it. Just last night Brock and I were discussing the up-coming move and what we would need to have in the home. I understand that there are radios that are just for weather advisories and warnings. I'm scared I won't hear the sirens, so I told Brock that we will be getting one of these radios. Actually, I told him that we needed at least two. He laughed at me. I wasn't kidding. In fact, I would feel so much better if everyone just carried one around with them everywhere they went, a'la the 80's boombox. That might help with my anxiety. But probably not.
We did however, come up with a great idea for an app. It's basically a tornado siren for your phone. It would go off loudly, regardless if the phone were on silent and alert you immediately that there is a tornado in the area or if there is a warning. I would PAY for that, and I don't pay for any apps. I wouldn't even get the free version that would only tell you if there was an actual touchdown. I want to know if there is a freaking cloud in the sky. If the wind is over 3 mph. If there is a cow flying in the sky. Hey, I saw Twister, I know how this goes. Maybe one day, I'll adjust to the life of having tornadoes. Maybe it will just stop bothering me. Maybe I'll turn into a big black opera singer. Yeah, I don't see any of those things happening.

Coffee...a necessity of Parenting. In my opinion anyway.

After taking my little monster to school today, I came home to enjoy the quiet that is still my house at 8 in the morning. Livi is watching cartoons and probably fell back asleep and my boyfriend is still snoozing. I use this time to either catch up on my girly shows that he won't watch with me, doing some blogging, surfing online or like today, find a new crafty thing to work on. I love to make stuff. I'm all about immediate gratification. I want to see what I am doing, and being crafty lets me do that. I can see my progress and I love when I'm out somewhere with something I have made and people ask me where I got it.
One of the wonderful gifts we got for Christmas this year was a Keurig machine. This is just the greatest invention since, well, I'm not really sure because right now it's the best thing ever to me. I can make just one cup of coffee and not have to worry about making a whole pot and not being sure if it will still be hot when I decide I want another cup. I don't know if Brock will want a cup. But I know I do! This cup of coffee (and perhaps another one) will get me through today. I have an exciting day of laundry, knitting and grocery shopping planned. With all of that thrilling activity, I bet your wondering why I would even need coffee to get through it. I know, I wonder that myself. I'm going to tell you a little bit why....
I had enrolled my daughter in a little dance/gym class once a week. This cost about $62 a month. That seems a bit steep for something only she can enjoy. So we started to look into different classes, and perhaps a gym membership for all of us that has lots of activities for the kids and we can get in on the action too. Well, we found a great gym and if we were going to be in the area longer, I would totally join. For under $100, all four of us can use the gym. I'm talking classes, pool, machines, treadmills with individual tvs on them. This gym is nice! But seeing as it's a little pricey for just 4 months, and you have to pay $100 to break the contract when you move, it's just not practical. But we did get a free week to try it out. Well, last night, I got a great idea to try out the Body Combat class. It combines lots of different fighting techniques, and it is intense. Probably one of the best workouts I've had in quite some time. But today.........today I'm sore. I'm tired. And I'm hoping they have a yoga class I can go to today to stretch it all out! But it's all good. I have my coffee. I have a new pattern to knit.  I have a quiet house for maybe 20 more minutes. Today is going to be a good day. I can just tell. Man, the power of a Keurig.

Bullying, is it a necessary evil?

Everywhere you turn now-a-days, there is a news story about a young child committing suicide or going on a mass rampage due to being bullied. Just this past weekend, there was an incident in my little ole hometown of Merrimack, NH of an 11 year old girl shooting herself, allegedly due to being bullied. (Read the article here, if you care to Police probe shooting of 11-year-old girl) This really made it hit home for me. Not because I knew the family, which even though it's a small town, I did not, but because it was my hometown. My little town that people don't have to lock their doors and when I was in school bullying did not seem this big of a thing. So of course, I feel the need to talk about it in my true fashion, saying exactly how I feel and what some of us are thinking, but are too afraid to offend someone to say.
It really got me thinking about why it is now that children and teenagers can't seem to cope with bullying anymore. I realize now that teenagers are much more vicious with their teasing. There is facebook to hide behind and bully like a true coward. Teens take social media so seriously that what better way to make someone's life a living hell then to torment them via facebook? The ultimate slap in the face. Twitter, Four Square and whatever other media outlet there is to put people's business, real or made up, on blast makes for the best kind of anonymous torture. Movies like Mean Girls, and shows like Degrassi or Secret Circle or whatever other CW drama is out there is showing teenage girls that being the mean girl is hot, sexy, powerful. This is what we are allowing our children to grow up watching and emulating. So who's fault is it again that our children act the way that they do?
But what is the beginning cause of all of this? What is it that makes our children not know how to handle this kind of rejection from their peers? What makes our children feel that it's okay to treat people like that? My opinion? US. We as parents and as a society do. So much has changed over the last 10-15 years that it kinda blows my mind. It starts when kids are toddlers, around my kids age.We can't spank our kids anymore, that's just mean. So no discipline or respect for authority there. There are no try-outs anymore, everyone makes the team. So no rejection there. Everyone gets a trophy, so no one feels like a loser. What's the motivation to win again? Why try hard if you're going to get a reward anyway? They never had to deal with loss or rejection because we wanted to shelter them from that kind of hurt. Honorable, surely. But that kind of feeling is necessary. They need to lose, they need to not make the team. Maybe you agree, maybe you don't. But think about it. Because they have never had to deal with those emotions before, when they experience them at an older age, they have no idea what to do with them. It's overwhelming. They can't process it. Because we denied them that experience growing up. It's a crucial part of their development process. I'm not a doctor, or a psychologist, I'm just making my observation.
As far as the bullies go, we allow that behavior to continue as well. Our teenagers are running around completely unchecked. They have free reign of the internet, of cell phones, with no supervision. The pictures that these girls post of themselves in very adult like poses and clothing, make me sick. They are not grown, and I don't care what they think about themselves. Everyone says "my kid would never be allowed to do that" but the truth about it is that they are. We have lost the power at some point in the transition to teenager. Parents are just letting their kids run wild, not keeping track of what they are doing, what they are posting online, where they are going. We are too busy working, or doing our own thing. It's still our job to raise these teenagers. This is an important age that they really still need guidance. You can't just throw them to the wolves and say "I raised them right, they know better. I'm sure they will make the right choices." While that is true with somethings, they still need to know what is acceptable behavior and what's not. They still need consequences for their actions. These bullies are just getting away with it over and over again, leaving these victims of bullying to have to deal with the increased power they feel from getting away with their actions.
Maybe if we spanked our children more, grounded them more, kept closer tabs on them it would help with this issue. Maybe we just need to take the power back and parent our children again. Call me old-fashion, but I obviously agree with spanking. My children are respectful, say yes ma'am, no sir, please and thank you. And when they aren't, better believe that they are reminded to be so. It is my job to make them into well rounded adults that can function in the world. It's not my job to be their friend. It's not my job to hold their hand and make them think the world is sunshine and roses because it's not. They aren't going to get that job, they aren't going to make the college team, they aren't going to stay with that person forever and those feelings are natural and are going to happen. So we have a choice as parents. Do we prepare them for those rejections, losses, hurts in a gradual way that allows them to figure out coping techniques or do we shelter them from it and let them all hit them at once and they can't handle it? I vote for the first option. What do you think??